Why We Fear Fear...
It's such and interesting concept, but a trap that we can get caught in at many points throughout our lives. The what ifs, the maybe this could happen, the perception of a not so tasteful outcome occurring as we venture into a space that we haven't before.
I am a huge culprit of this outcome in my train of thought. It has taken me a long time to even grasp the concept that I am, in truth self sabotaging my own worthiness through a fear of the unknown (which is what I fear the most).
When we create a fear of something that may seem scary or attach this feeling to something we are 'new' to, it breeds a desire to control and calculate a lot of aspects within our lives then leading to anxiety and a depressed train of thought. But what is the point or reason for said reaction?
There can be a plethora of reason why we are programmed to think in this way. Maybe we were not exposed to leaping into the unknown on our own when we were children. Maybe an abundance of devastatingly unexpected things have happened to us in our lifetime that have made us become over cautious. Possibly we have been given such joy that we don't know how to handle the emotions that come with stepping into our fear. It is also a human reaction imbedded in our DNA, when we see danger we are programmed to run away. All these particles of thinking can breed a fear based mentality to any situation of fear.
But as we fear fear itself we breed a cycle of fearful emotions and then never lead ourselves into a more vibrate place in the world.
Fear can also come in all shapes and sizes. For example someone's fear can come in the way of speaking in public, jumping out of a plane or even just getting out of bed in the morning. We all have a mirage of fear based places.
So how do we combat this?
I have a few techniques I have used in the pursuit to push through the fear and cultivate abundance through the things I fear in life.
Step One: Be Kind To You. I think we tend to shut ourselves down when we are in a place of, why am I scared , why can't I do this, I suck ect. We need to change this story and be kind when we are reading into things in our life this way. I ask you the next time you speak to yourself like this to become aware and then to wait and ask, "would I speak to my friend like this if they said to me they're feeling this way about this particular situation?" I bet you wouldn't, you would listen and support them with kind and thoughtful words. Whoever said that you, yourself are not worthy of this attention!
Step Two: Go In and In. We need to sometimes take time to recognise what we are fearing. I see so many of us not recognising that our reactions to the ones around us, especially the ones we love, isn't about them at all it has to do with our own internal turmoil of a fear based situation we aren't recognising. I'm forever going to sound like a broken record in these blogs because closing our eyes, taking a deep breathe and listening to what our body is telling us is a sure way to understanding our fear based actions on a deeper level. Also helping us create stronger relationships as we work to stop projecting them to those around us.
Step Three: Action. I myself am not the best at this one, I have learnt to be kinder to myself, I have learnt to go in and in but I find it forever a challenge to then face that fear. To move through the uncomfortable. However the reward we receive from this movement is a feeling I cannot describe. And if a sense of "Failure" ( I use that term very loosely as I don't believe it even exists) occurs rejoice in the fact that you have worked through the hardest part of living. As they say, get back on the horse but maybe find a different surface to ride upon.
Step Four: Journal. Write your fears down, write how you overcome them or how you see yourself over coming them write an affirmation that you recite every day that will aid you in working through that fear when we write something down it has a larger effect on our neural pathways and seeps into our mind with more direction.
Step Five: Sharing Is Caring. Find someone or a platform where you can share and have help at being accountable for your actions and working through the steps. Make sure it is a concise space without burden or irritation. A community or group where you can openly express what it is you are needing to over come without judgment.
It isn't easy, to rewrite the programs we have been taught and used for so many years, decades even. But just know that you have the power to change any aspect of your life that isn't serving you. You are in charge of your reality and the world you choose to live in.
If you would like to read more about the bodies response to fear on a biological standpoint here's a link to a medical journal by Ralph Aldolph Division of Humanities and Social Sciences, California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, CA 91125.
I found this very insightful into understanding our biological standpoint to fear itself.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3595162/
Lets fight that fear with a sense of love and light as we grow into more compassionate, caring, self aware human beings.
Balance,
By Simone x